Fractured
by jones2000
Summary: What became of the Time Lords and Ladies are now fairy stories. What was left behind of the Last Great Time War were a few remnants, fragments of what was, perhaps some broken souls who had managed to survive despite themselves, alone. Forever.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is an old story that was originally posted on Whofic, that I've been asked to repost here.**

**Written for my sister, who wanted a Doctor Who story with her original characters that didn't actually impact on the canon Whoniverse.**

* * *

><p><em>It was not the common folk of the planet Gallifrey that creatures of the universe feared.<em>

_Ask any being the first thing that came into their head about the Gallifreyans, and they would reply immediately with 'Time Lord'. It was in fact the so-called 'benevolent' Time Lords who became more feared even then the tyranny of the Daleks._

_The Time Lords started humbly enough, revered for their even mixture of science and mysticism. They were fair in their justice, and respected the rights of the common people. But like all things, the glory days came all too swiftly to an end._

_Revolution came to this peaceful planet, and all those loyal to the old ways were banished, never to return to their home plant. Those that remained believed that science would be their salvation. Revered turned to feared and life turned to dust upon the quest for the unattainable. The people of Gallifrey had already been travelling through the stars for aeons and they wanted more._

_It was the scientists Omega and Rassilon that realised what the Gallifrey supremacy was lacking. What would make them all-powerful? Time, the ability to manipulate that omnipresent power, that great force. They would be the ultimate. The scientist Omega sacrificed himself for that belief, opening the black hole that allowed his people to attain the levels of Time Lord._

_Shortly after, the Time Lords became the highest on the hierarchy of Gallifrey and they, in their TARDIS, were able to cross time and space in the blink of an eye based on the fact that Space and Time are always relative to one another. One could interfere directly with a planet and its people, and even the leaves would not sway with your passing. They would be able to kill you by simply preventing your very existence._

_The Time Lords called it a humane way to die. However, the rest of the universe did not feel that confidence, and that threat alone caused more than one species to quake in fear and declare war._

_All were destroyed. A hundred advanced races, gone. Simply because they refused to bow their backs to the Citadel of Gallifrey._

_Finally the Council, realising its folly, proclaimed a new rule. This would later become known as the First Law, and it prohibited Time Lords' interference into lesser-evolved worlds. The universe breathed a sigh of relief._

_But the damage had already been done, and in the process it had created the greatest evil the cosmos had ever seen, an evil that would finally bring down the children of Gallifrey._

_They became known as the Daleks. Upon the murder of their creator, they hid in the dark space and increased their numbers, becoming a plague of epic proportions. The universe would tremble under their might._

_Many years later, when the fleet had sufficient numbers, the Emperor of the Daleks ordered a last assault against the Time Lords and the Council. The Time Lords were reluctant to engage the fleet at first, as to do so would have broken their most sacred of laws, but were eventually drawn into the struggle for dominance over Time and Space. The battle raged across time, a million dimensions. Lesser peoples never had the slightest idea of what was being fought and won above their heads, and the more advanced races were forced to do battle simply so their own corners of space could remain safe._

_This lead to the extinction of millions of species across the dimensional spectrum._

_Plots and counter-plots followed, and neither side could seem to gain the upper hand, until centuries later when the Gallifreyan resistance broke down. The Daleks were victorious and the planet of the Time Lords was destroyed. However, the Dalek Empire also was decimated. None remained._

_**Excerpt from 'Time Lords' by Doctor P Voyle. **_

_After the nuclear reactor of Vilinguard mysteriously combusted hundreds of years previously, weapon making ground to a halt. Planetary myth states that a man known as 'the Doctor' was responsible for this meltdown and left in a blue device he called a 'TARDIS', but not before making off with an armload of blueprints, the dirty rotten scrounger._

_Vilinguard progressed_ _from there._ _Soon it was found that because of the chemical imbalances in the atmosphere, the only thing that could be successfully harvested were a particularly hardy crop of bananas. This seemed like a dead end, but it soon became clear to the President that Vilinguard was the only planet in his sector that could grow the simple banana._

_The Grove of Vilinguard sprang up from there. However, several weeks later, there were reports of beings suddenly disappearing from various tour groups, something the President ardently denied._

_Forty two years later, there was a sudden change in the government of Vilinguard. On the Board of Directors there was not one natural Vilinguardian. This lead to speculation that the stories about alien-knapping had been real. It was a fact that occasionally beings would surface saying that they had been prisoners of Vilinguard, but that was only generally after a share increase._

_What lead to this reversal in the bureaucracy is anyone's guess; though an ageing Reptilian remembers "A skinny man, a girl with bright hair, and one of our kind. No one was s'posed to say anything, though." More star struck visitors in another blue box?'_

_**'The Development of the Groves of Vilinguard' midterm essay by Kryten Vox Moorn.**_

* * *

><p>The siren cut through her head, the lights flashing a dangerous mauve. Lights and computer circuits popped and fizzled as she jogged down the corridor. All programs were being absorbed and encrypted, rendering the base completely helpless.<p>

"Come on, come on!"

"How much time have we got?"

She looked down at her wrist computer. "None. Hurry up!"

The Time Lord looked up from his work. "You can't rush perfection." He sniffed. "I may be a genius, but this will be finished in its own time."

"I don't care whether you're one of the greatest geniuses in the Universe or not." She snapped. "I'm not going to sacrifice my team for you." The Gallifreyan woman turned to the handful of scientists and engineers still left in the room. "Evacuate, now!"

"But the virus-" He protested.

"Now!"

Once given the word, the room emptied quickly. She once again turned back to the Time Lord sent to supervise them, still bent over the workbench. "We have to leave." She said.

"A little longer."  
><em><br>"Evacuation procedure 129.5 has been initiated." _Said the loudspeaker_. "Docking bay doors have been overridden. Those unable to reach the evacuation points, please join together in the Prayer of Three as the base is detonated to inflict maximum damage to the Dalek Fleet."_

"You've done all you can! We're going to die!"

"We all die in the end." He mused. "Crumble away into nothingness…"

"And who's going to be there to finish the virus when you're dead?"

That caught his attention, and he straightened up. "Time for you to get going, I think." He said stately, seeming unaware of the chaos going on around him. She envied his calmness.

"Good." She replied. Taking his arm, she almost pushed him out the door. "The escape pods are this way." She made to move off, but he stopped in his tracks. "There's still time!"

"Not for me." His voice had suddenly become brittle. "It's all over for me."

"What?"

"Get going. I'll complete the virus."

"But-"

"Trust me."

"Stop!" She shouted out behind him._"Doctor!"_

"_Outer sanctuary breach."_

And so she started running as fast as she could toward the escape pods. She was too far away and knew it.

Panting heavily, she skidded to a stop. Think, she told herself firmly. Think. There must be a way out. There's always a way out. Pressing her hands against the cold surface of the observation window, she could see hundreds of little pods jettisoning off the doomed base. Their allies. And almost all that was left of the once great Time Lords.

"No." She gasped. Dalek scout ships began to emerge from all sides of space, surrounding the escapees. She could only stare out hopelessly as the Gallifreyan ships impacted with the Dalek fighters, and one after another, she could feel the life forces of the pilots and passengers being snuffed out.

"Murderers!" She screamed, though none could hear her.

The Time Lords had lost Arcadia.

"_Inner sanctuary breach."_

Her hearts were gripped with an icy terror.

Eris Cassiopeia was a plain girl from Gallifrey, not a Time Lady or anything special, merely a bio engineer. She wasn't meant to be here. This wasn't meant to happen. Why was this happening? Harnessing some of the Doctor's ever-present level headedness, she turned around and walked back the other way.

_Gallifreyan TARDIS Program_. As Eris looked up at the logo emblazoned across the door, her stomach squirmed uncomfortably as she realised what she was about to do. She was about to steal a TARDIS, an offence that would otherwise see you imprisoned.

All complete and functional ships had been sent offworld to aid the war effort, so all that were in the room were a couple of prototypes and one in for repair. A sign above an empty space read _STOP. Before you leave your TARDIS, have you left the lights on to discourage burglars?_

Eris walked past the non-functioning prototypes and opened the door of the seemingly complete ship. The image the ship projected seemed to change with each minute, and she immediately diagnosed the problem.

_Faulty chameleon chip.  
><em>  
>She stepped in and the door snapped shut. The dimensional stabilisers reactivated as they recognised the presence of a Gallifreyan on board.<p>

Teeth gritted with concentration, she pulled levers into place. She would make the jump before the explosion, she would!

Eris kept telling herself that even as the TARDIS was engulfed by the shockwaves from the matter bomb.

* * *

><p>The room was dark, and she sat up.<p>

"Ooh, my head." Her voice crackled and sounded different to her ears. Actually, everything seemed a little different, and it wasn't just the feeling of having jumped a planet going supernova.

"Lights on." She told the ship. Nothing happened. "Lights on!" Grumbling, she rose to her feet. The control console flashed once in greeting and at once she was blinded.

"Yes, thank you. That is very helpful." Now she realised what else was wrong with this ship. The compliance chip was faulty and the ship was close to gaining a personality of its own. A trait potentially dangerous to any Time Lord or Lady. Who needed a ship that could think for itself?

_You're not a Time Lady, _Eris reminded herself. She had joined the Scientific Division long ago, before she had gone through her first regeneration cycle. Her brother had always laughed at her for not becoming part of the Academy.

Wait. She froze. Arcadia!

A quick search was all that was needed to confirm her suspicions. Arcadia was a dead planet. Nothing was left of the once glorious civilisation. With trembling fingers and hearts in her throat, she typed in another planetary name. _Gallifrey._

Nothing was there. The home galaxy had been completely destroyed. The readout on the TARDIS console stated that their arm of the galaxy had been dead for forty-two years.

The ship had somehow automatically ridden a rip in time and appeared in the future space.

That was impossible! Wasn't it? She had been knocked out yesterday and woken up again today decades in the future. Eris had studied the unpredictability of the Time Vortex. The instability meant that a great shock of some kind could disrupt the flow of time. Rip it, if you will, and it will send you spiralling.

Planets that were only hours away would become years away.

"Termination reports."

The TARDIS dug into its archives.  
><em><br>Termination report: planetary destruction — 100%, located TARDISes — 0, Gallifreyan population — 0. Statistics excluding TARDIS 45938.75 and passenger.  
><em>  
>"By the Other! What do I do now?" She sunk back into her seat.<p>

Time passed. Eris wasn't particularly fond of travelling by TARDIS. You never really knew for certain where you were going to end up. Some Gallifreyans enjoyed the thrill, but she was a test pilot, not an adventurer.

She appraised her new regeneration. _A pasty freckled redhead with a big nose and square jaw,_she thought critically. Once, when she was doing her engineering degree, she and her friends would compare regenerations on who improved the most from the last century. But then, she would never see her friends again, would she? Hear her parents arguing in the background, her brother teasing her for not joining the Academy and becoming a Time Lady.

She had almost resigned herself to a life of floating aimlessly through space and time when the TARDIS sent up a blue alert, requesting her presence on the bridge. They had landed. Eris once again bent over the computer console. "Now why did you bring me here?"

But, of course, the ship could not reply.

There was only one way to find out. She stepped out onto the surface.

"Welcome to Vilinguard, the banana capital of the universe!"

An alien came up to her. He was vaguely humanoid and a jaundiced yellow. "You're missing the tour, ma'am." She allowed him to shepherd her back to the main group, the majority of which looked like schoolchildren on a fieldtrip, their teacher scolding them as she watched. "Ahem." The alien said, pushing his way to the front of the small crowd. "Ahem!"

It took several minutes before it was silent enough for him to talk. "I am Designated Guide 2965, and I will be showing you around the groves today. I must ask you to take your rubbish with you as we move, and please do not touch the produce. There will be the opportunity to buy something from our gift store at the end of the tour." Designated Guide clapped his hands together. "This is Phase One in the processing plant area. Although the machine has been retired for five years, I would still appreciate no one _sticking their fingers in the holes_!"

A little boy jumped and looked around guiltily.

"And we're walking!"

Many of the instruments were crude and looked as ineffective beyond belief. Eris made the mistake of mumbling this aloud as she studied a pulping device that was large enough to throw a person into.

"Vilinguard is not the place it once was." Someone said morosely behind her. She turned and saw another of the yellow-skinned inhabitants of the Grove.

"Oh, hello. I didn't mean to - My name is Eris."

"I am Nothing, once Designated Guildmaster of Science." He said. "You are correct to call our technology primitive and backwards. As it is, we have not been great since the Weapons Factory was destroyed many years ago. Why, I remember once we were even were commissioned by the Time Lords themselves to equip their soldiers for the Last Great Time War!"

Last Great Time War. Eris looked away.

"Are you unwell?" Nothing asked in a concerned voice.

"I'm fine. Really." She sighed, her hearts sinking. Nothing here could have sent out a mayday specifically to a TARDIS. Certainly not any of the worryingly-cheerful banana men or the lizard creatures that looked like they would have trouble remembering their own name.

"Psst." Eris looked around. "Psst. Down here, Ma'am." A pair of green eyes was peeking up at her from the grated floor, and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Reece needs to talk to you, ma'am."

Eris blinked. "Why? Who are you?"

"Because Reece sees that you are-" He lowered his voice. "Different."

"How did you know that-?"

"The masters have another that is different."

"A Time Lord? The Vilinguardians have a Time Lord here? Where is he?" Hope rose as a small bubble in her chest. A Time Lord! One of them had lived? But why couldn't she sense him? _Why?_

"Shh." Reece shushed her. "Plantation One, ma'am. Do not mention Reece, please." And he was gone.

"Ma'am? The tour group has reached the factory floor."

It was several minutes before she plucked up the courage to ask. "Are we allowed to see Plantation One?" Eris questioned. "If it's not too much to ask."

Designated Guide seemed taken aback at the question.

"Yes, of course!" The other aliens took up the chorus.

"Plantation One!"

"Eh," Designated Guide eased a finger between his neck and the collar of his shirt. "I am afraid not, good people. Plantation One is currently being fumigated for… flesh eating fungus."

There was a collective _'Ohh' _of disappointment. Eris's lip curled.

"Follow me to proceed to the kiosk!"

As the last Vilinguardian passed by her, she pretended to slip, grabbing at his belt to steady herself.

"Oh, how clumsy of me!"

"Not to worry! Follow along when you have righted yourself!" The Vilinguardian chirped happily. Eris smiled as the man walked away.

"Very clumsy indeed," she chuckled, slipping the keys in her pocket.

The wall of Plantation One was tall and solid. _Danger. Keep out. _All a big fat danger sign had ever done for Eris was make her want to see what was behind it. She stood there feeling awkward, trying each key in the lock, wishing she had had a little more time to grab something from her toolkit on Gallifrey. Finally the lock chinked and the Gallifreyan slipped inside. What she saw next shocked her.

Creatures from all across the galaxy were slaving under ropes and scythes, hauling bananas away in poorly designed carts to different transmat points. She forced herself to walk.

_"Get off me!"  
><em>  
>She jumped. The accent was shockingly familiar, from her quadrant of space.<p>

"Your recent attempts to escape Vilinguard have been noted." Said a Vilinguardian coldly. "And will no longer be tolerated. You will be punished."

Eris lent around a stack of banana boxes. A yellow-skinned Vilinguardian with his distinctive elongated head was holding a stun rod, standing over a huddled shape in ripped clothing that might have once been grand.

And she knew without a doubt that that man was one of the last Time Lords.

The Vilinguardian lowered his stun rod and the Time Lord screamed.

Her teeth ground together. The ability to sit still and be quiet was a talent that had always seemed to allude her.

"_Stop!"_

The Vilinguardian seemed taken by surprise at the appearance of the female and lost concentration on his stun rod. Quicker than Eris expected, the Time Lord bunched his fists and drove them into the Vilinguardian again and again.

"Stop it." She said firmly, grabbing his hands. "Don't kill him!"

"Forty-two years! Forty-two years!" The Time Lord shrieked. "I ought to wipe you all out, you –"

Eris drew back a hand and slapped him sharply across the face. After a moment of complete shock, he slowly blinked and rubbed a hand across his eyes.

"Are you alright?"

He managed to nod wearily before he fainted.

_Oh, please._

The Time Lord woke after a moment to a redheaded girl fanning his face with the leaf of a banana palm. "Ooh, my head," he moaned. Then everything came back in a rush and he doubled over, feeling sick.

"I have to get my ship back!"

"What? Are you crazy?"

"_I'm not leaving my TARDIS_!" He shrugged off her hand and forced himself to his feet. He brushed her off and straightened his rags as though they were grand robes.  
><em><br>"'Thank you for saving my life, Eris, I am in your debt, Eris'." _She muttered under her breath. Prat. Pompous prat.

That was when an announcement was blared over the speakers._"Designated B1.25 has been damaged! Search for the male that is different! We are lead to believe that there is now a female with him!"_

_Oh no._

"Come on!" The Time Lord pushed her through the banana groves.

"Where is your TARDIS?" She asked.

"In the President's boardroom." The Time Lord puffed. "With any luck they are still trying to find out how to pick the lock. Hurry, before we are — "

"Caught." The Vilinguardian stepped from behind the corner of a storage shed and smiled at them coldly. "I am Designated One. You harmed my brother and must suffer the consequences. Vilinguard is the greatest banana grove in the universe, and our reputation must remain unsullied!"

"Your reputation?" The Time Lord spluttered. "You're doing all this for your _reputation_?"

"A reputation is an important thing!" Designated One sung out. Privately Eris agreed. Gallifrey would not have been as nearly as powerful as it was if it wasn't for the Time Lord's supposed prowess and the Council of Thirteen thinking that they had achieved Godlike status.

"Many years ago, we Vilinguardians were the finest makers of weapons in the known universe! We were commissioned to work in hundreds of star systems! Our reputation was grand! But then — " He scowled. "-one of the Different came. He called himself the Doctor."

The Time Lord looked confused. The title wasn't familiar to him. Eris frowned.

"The Doctor did not like the way we Vilinguardians did things. He destroyed our nuclear reactor because of it. The old ways of weapon making were lost, and the only thing we could cultivate were bananas!"

_Yes. That sounds like the Doctor's sense of humour._

"But we built up another reputation from there. To once be the best, even only in bananas. They were the _best damn bananas _in the _universe_!" He shouted. "We have treated the Different the same since. You are not worthy of our _spit_!"

"You're insane." Eris whispered.

There was a noise above their heads and she looked up before seizing the Time Lord's wrist and pulling him down sharply as the claw that had been suspending a crate of the yellow fruit hit Designated One in the back of the head, knocking the man clear off his feet.

"Reece got the evil banana man!" Came the victorious shout. "Reece is a hero!"

"Reece!" Eris laughed. As Reece jumped down from the stack of bananas, she saw that he was one of the upright-walking lizard creatures.

"Ma'am!"

"Call me Eris." She looked down on the Time Lord. "You aren't going to faint again, are you?"

He just glared back at both of them. "This way."

"You're welcome," Eris muttered.

Her initial suspicions were confirmed about the Time Lord.

Not necessarily the part about being a prat, but that later turned out to be true too. He introduced himself as the Judge, which meant he was certainly a graduate from the Academy, and he was pathetically young in the cases of most Time Lords. He hadn't even reached regeneration age yet. That it itself puzzled Eris, as she knew from her brother that a Gallifreyan had to be the minimum age of 300 to be 'advanced' enough to be considered for a Time Lordship. He must have had family high up in the hierarchy.

But despite the fact that the TARDIS's statistics and her own telepathic link clearly said that she was the only Gallifreyan left in existence, here he was. No matter how pompous or insufferable he turned out to be, the Judge gave Eris hope that others of their kind had survived.

Eris managed to find the key to Plantation One's factory floor on the first try. She and Reece almost had to carry the Judge over the threshold. Even being as skinny as he was, he was still quite heavy.

_Perhaps Reece and I should just leave him here and run, _she thought sourly. But the thought of a fully operational TARDIS and the Judge's sonic wand spurred her on.

"Through there."

_Is a sonic device, no matter how powerful, really worth this?_

"You landed in the middle of their diabolical committee meeting? You're not serious, are you?"

"I didn't exactly have much of a choice." He snapped back. "I was shot at by a Dalek scout ship on the inter-dimensional plane. If I didn't land I would have been quite literally taken apart. Good thing the other Time Lords blasted it into oblivion, like they always do." He said with a faint trace of pride.

Eris dropped the keys loudly. _He didn't know that Gallifrey and all the other Time Lords and Ladies were gone._

"What?"

"Have you wondered why you can't sense any of the other Time Lords?" She didn't look at his face, but instead glanced around the boardroom. There, in plain sight, was the Judge's sonic wand. She picked it up.

"At times, yes. I assumed a chemical in the atmosphere impaired — why?"

Eris studied the sonic wand. "It's the screwdriver model!" She exclaimed.

"I'll have you know that it is a FXP 4000 SonicWand." The Judge said huffily.

"I think I know the difference between a screwdriver model and a wand model. I am an engineer, after all. I design these things."

"And I am a Time Lord."

"And Reece isn't either of those fancy things, but he knows when he's outgunned."

Eris and the Judge stopped arguing.

The chair at the head of the table swivelled around.

"Lady and gentlemen." Another creature in a flamboyant purple suit that could have only been the President smiled. "Welcome to the heart of the grove of Vilinguard." He stood up, and TARDIS components fell out of his lap. The Judge just stared at the pieces of his disembodied TARDIS. The President smiled and picked up part of the time vortex modulator.

"Yes, it is your ship." He spoke calmly, not shouting and hyper like all the other Vilinguardians they had met. "A very interesting specimen. I would have liked to learn more, but unfortunately the only way to force the door was to blow it up. Needless to say, there wasn't much left after that."

The Judge's expression was devastated. The President ran his thumb over the modulator. "You see, as soon as Designated B1.25 was attacked, I guessed it would only be a matter of time before you came back looking for your T. A. R. D. I. S., Time Lord." Eris blinked in surprise. "Yes, do not think I don't know who you are, Time Lady. The scrounge of the Universe."

The Judge's hand tightened on the sonic wand. "She is not a Time Lady." He suddenly spat. "She is just another nobody. Like you. What gives you the right to abduct people to work your groves? You are a soulless evil creature and I am surprised your workers haven't risen against you."

The President rubbed his hands together. "It is all a matter of reputation, Time Lord. My own people would not voluntarily work in the groves. So I improvise."

Something banged into the door behind them that Reece had the sense to lock.

"My reinforcements." Said the President. "Just in case I could not handle an injured Time Lord, female, and Reptilian on my own."

The door was pounded on again. The President smiled, and pointed a finger at Eris.

"You, Time Lady. Lead me to your TARDIS."

"If I refuse?" Eris said, sounding bolder than she felt.

The President clicked his fingers and the doors burst open. Armed Vilinguardians burst in, the laser sights of their weapons focused on the Judge and Reece. "Then I will execute the Time Lord and the Reptilian." He replied. Reece began to shake uncontrollably. The Judge stared down the lasers defiantly. Eris looked between the both of them. Their lives or giving the Vilinguardians the technology of a TARDIS?

She was not a Time Lady and now knew that she would have never chosen to become a Time Lady. She did not possess the necessary ruthlessness anyway. She closed her eyes.

"Follow me."

The President followed Eris back to outside the compound, the Judge and Reece at gunpoint. The Judge was gripping his sonic wand so hard that his knuckles were white. He glared at the engineer's back. What in the name of Rassilon was she doing? Did she have no idea what would happen if the Vilinguardians got their hands on Gallifreyan technology? _Galaxies filled with bananas._The Judge shivered in disgust.

Eris stopped in front of a giant silver egg. The Judge's eyebrows rose. The Vilinguardians shoved him and Reece forward before levelling their weapons at the three of them. The President stepped forward.

"Open it." He hissed.

Eris fitted the key into the lock and the door swung open, aware of the crowd they were attracting. The President took another step forward to look inside.

"No wonder the Time Lords were so superior," he breathed. He then chuckled. "Yet they got their comeuppance in the end, didn't they?"

"W — what do you mean?"

"Ah, poor Time Lord. Has your pet Time Lady not yet told you of the demise of Gallifrey?" The Judge stared at Eris with a mixture of anger, denial and a little hurt on his face. The President obviously revelled being the one to tell him this news.

"Yes, Time Lord. The Daleks finally did us all a favour and destroyed the Time Lords forever! The great, cosmic know-alls, finally there was something they didn't see coming. I really should have sent the Dalek Emperor a note. Maybe a chocolate box."

He laughed. Some of the wind had finally gone from the Judge's sails. "Gallifrey gone?" He asked slowly.

"Gone, gone, gone!" The President clapped his hands in childlike glee. The Judge rubbed his eyes and rose his sonic wand.

The President raised his hand. "Thank you for this marvellous technology." He said happily. "But now you all have no further use to me, as you have proven to me that you cannot be broken. It is time to join your beloved Gallifrey."

The Judge flicked his wand into the 'on' position. "Fine." He said. Before the President's arm dropped, he jabbed his hand forward, slamming the wand into the Vilinguardian's eye.

The Vilinguardian froze, then started to shake. The Judge felt Eris take his hand and pull him back. Reece crouched behind them both.

The President began to emit a high-pitched whine before his mouth opened. _"Presidential Unit Zero malfunction, malfunction. Self destruction in five, four, three, two, one."_

And he exploded, leaving the three of them standing in the room covered in synthetic flesh and banana pulp.

Eris ran her fingers through her banana slicked hair and looked up slowly. Reece was busy licking his face with his long blue tongue and the Judge was shaking the pulp from his hands, an expression of disgust on his face.

No one had shot at them yet. In fact, all the Vilinguardians had dropped their weapons and had collapsed twitching on the ground. Eris watched as the Judge retrieved his sonic wand. He peeled back a flap of purple pinstripe and probed about in the mush.

"Ah, of course. An organic layer over a mechanical frame."

"Don't give me that tone. If you had any idea that thing was an android, you would have done that years ago."

The Judge ignored her. "When this 'Doctor' destroyed the nuclear reactor, it must have wiped out the last of the real Vilinguardians. The original President must have transferred his consciousness into a biomechanical form before the final explosion, and programmed it to create more and more machines to repopulate the planet."

"They were all tied to the President's consciousness."

Reece was standing in the doorway of the TARDIS. He did a little dance on the spot. "Evil banana men are gone! Does Reece get to travel now?" He asked anxiously, spinning around to face Eris and almost tripping up the Judge with his tail.

"You bet." She grinned. The Judge looked up at her, his expression sour.

"Oh. And you too, I suppose."


	2. Chapter 2

_In the year 4005, the Order of Planets had been established for well over one thousand years. In that time it saw war after war, but nothing was greater than the ongoing skirmishes with the Others. The Others and their leader known only as 'She' declared war on the Order shortly after the planet Earth joined the Protected Planets treaty of 2997._

_The greatest general the Order possessed was an Earthling from Southern California. His name was General Tony Blake. Eight years after his planet joined the Order, General Blake was kidnapped by the Others on the orders of 'She', and endured several weeks of torture in the hands of 'She' before I and three companions took it up on ourselves to mount a rescue mission._

_These three were newcomers to the Order base. There was no way they could have gotten on unseen, but somehow they did, getting past my men with very little effort._

_As I saw them step from their ship I had no doubt who they were. I did not believe it at first. You see, for years as a child my father would tell me great tales of the Time Lords, and his father before him and his grandmother before him and so on. But then I saw their TARDIS and I knew our problem with the Others was solved._

_I took our prisoners personally to their cells. I was convinced eventually that there was a better way, and I accompanied the three of them on board the TARDIS to travel into the heart of the Other's territory._

**Excerpt from 'Others ' by Admiral Jason Tyler, Rtd.**

"That should give us some time. We should all get some sleep."

There was a loud snore from near one of the support beams. Reece was curled up like a dog in his pyjamas. They were blue and covered in teddy bears. One of them was holding a heart that said 'I love you'. The Reptilian had found the flannels in the back of the wardrobe and the soft material with the strange and mysterious symbols had intrigued him.

Eris had to wonder about the Time Lord that had originally owned this particular TARDIS, and resolved to explore the ship the next time she wasn't running for her life.

"Someone has already beaten us to it," the Judge commented wryly, looking at Reece. Eris stretched her arms behind her head, tendons snapping in her neck.

"I'm off. Close the door behind you." And she was gone, leaving the Judge at the console. He sat down in the dark, staring at the flashing lights from the controls, surprised that she was leaving him in the control room. The Judge rested back in his chair and let his breath out in a whoosh.

The Groves had almost made him forget. Everything around him seemed suddenly shiny and new.

Bone-deep weariness had settled into his bones, now that he finally had the chance to stop.

He closed his eyes. Perhaps just five minutes …

It seemed that only seconds later someone was tapping his face, none too gently.

"Judge? Judge, wake up!"

"Go 'way."

This time it was a sharper jab, leaving a welt on his cheek.

"Ow! What?"

Eris was bending over him, looking irritated.

"What?"

"The navigational systems must have been knocked out of alignment when I landed in the plantation."

"Oh." He said. "_Oh. _You know, if you want my help, you only have to ask."

Her expression was sour. "You're in my way."

_Ah._

The Judge drew his sonic wand and stood opposite to her over the control console. Eris was muttering to herself and the Judge cocked an eyebrow as he listened. It sounded technical, but when he listened, he realised that she was reciting an old Gallifrey rhyme.

"Do you know what you're doing, _exactly_?"

"Generally the faulty part doesn't light up just because you wave a sonic device 0ver it." She snapped at him. The Judge narrowed his eyes.

"Well, perhaps a _Time Lord _would have a better chance in diagnosing the problem."

She blinked wordlessly at him for a moment, mouth open and seemingly stunned that he had the audacity to say that to her. The Judge had a moment to feel a skirret of remorse before the engineer again jabbed that blasted finger into his sternum.

"You are like every Time Lord I have ever met, even my own brother! Pompous, arrogant, and think they know-"

"Wait a minute,"

"And think they know everything there is to know about everything in the Universe!"

"I saved your life!"

"I saved _yours_!"

The TARDIS console flashed and the ship began to shake violently. Reece grabbed an overhead support before he had been thrown to the ground. Eris and the Judge fell against one another, their foreheads thumping together.

The TARDIS landed with a _thump_, followed by an ominous creaking. The sudden stop slammed the Judge against the doors. Losing her balance, Eris landed on top of him. The elbow in his stomach may or may not have been accidental.

"Get. Off. Me." He hissed.

Nose wrinkling, she pushed off the floor.

"This is why women shouldn't drive."

"You really don't know when to stop digging that hole, do you?"

Lip curling, the Judge rose to his feet, making a lurching grab for a lever on the console.

"What are you doing?" Eris made a grab for his hands. "Keep your limbs off my TARDIS or I'll remove them for you!"

"Didn't you want to stabilise our position and avoid the TARDIS displacing itself?"

Eris felt her cheeks getting hot. "I knew that! I am an engineer!"

He ignored her as the ship stopped groaning and settled. "We've landed."

"Wow. You _don't_ say." Eris said sarcastically. "How ever did I live before your stunning insights?"

"Where are we this time?" Reece stumbled out, rubbing at his bleary eyes.

"Only one way to find out." Eris chirped, putting her toolbox on the ground with a sigh.

"That would not be wise." The Judge said. "We should run a full set of diagnostics to pinpoint where we are and scan for any hostile lifeforms-"

"Oh, come on. Live a little, Time Lord."

With a parting smirk, she stepped outside.

* * *

><p>"Echo!" Both the Judge and Eris looked sharply at Reece. The lizard cocked his head to the side, towering over them both. "What?"<p>

Eris looked around. "This place seems to have been deserted for some time."

The Judge agreed. "I wonder how it managed to stay up, then?"

"What?"

"Listen."

Eris cocked her head. "Engines. Ship?"

"I would say space station." He pulled out his sonic wand. He glanced at it with his brow furrowed before hitting it against his palm. Eris shook her head. Men. If it didn't work, hit it.

"What?"

"There must be sonic disruptor waves in the atmosphere." He replied. "Funny, if this place has been abandoned for as long as it looks, I would have expected the waves to have dispersed by now."

"You are well-educated, Time Lord."

The new voice had the three of them spinning around in surprise.

"Who're you?" Reece asked.

The man smiled as he stepped forward. He was tall and blonde with dark eyes and a smug expression. The Judge frowned. The man nodded his head to Eris.

"And a companion."

Eris bristled. "I am nobody's _companion_. I'll have you know I am as much of a Gallifreyan as he is, thank you very much."

The blonde's eyes widened slightly. "A Time Lady?"

"As you will." The Judge dismissed. "How did you - ?"

"Know that you are a Time Lord? The tale of the Time Lords is something of a family heirloom to me." The Judge and Eris exchanged a quick look. "As is the legend of the TARDIS." His eyes strayed over Reece's shoulder to the ship. "That is why your arrival is so... _fortunate_. We need your TARDIS."

"_We_?"

Suddenly the lights snapped on and the Judge, Eris and Reece were surrounded by an assortment of men and women and aliens with many diverse and dangerous looking weapons.

The Judge scowled. _Of course._

"Now." The man said. "You can either give us your TARDIS voluntarily or we can take it from you." He sounded like he was offering them a perfectly reasonable proposition.

"And call me Colonel. Colonel Tyler."

The three of them were taken to separate cells, but not before Colonel Tyler deliberately took the Judge's sonic wand.

"Ah. A sonic screwdriver, too." Eris could see the words_ not a screwdriver_ forming on the Judge's lips before his hands were cuffed behind his back. She rolled her eyes.

The station shook with an impact. Lights flickered. The Colonel took the Judge's handcuffs and ordered his men to the bridge and await further orders. The Judge was sizing up the small human and wondering when he should make his move, when a red light began to flash, joining the cacophony of noise. _"Alert, alert, station stabilisers failing. Gravitational pull increasing."_

_Well, that's handy._

"Let me help!" The Judge shouted at Tyler over the noise. The Colonel looked at him sceptically. "I am a Time Lord! Take these off me and I can help!" After a minute the Colonel's instinct for survival overruled his desire to keep the Time Lord a prisoner and he unshackled the Judge's hands. The Judge rubbed his wrists to return the circulation. "Where do you keep the control crystals?"

In the control room, Colonel Tyler watched the Time Lord tinker. After what seemed like a long time, the lights stopped flashing.

The station stopped shuddering.

_"Stabilisers OK. Gravity normality being restored." _The pleasant recorderd voice intoned. _  
><em>  
>The doors burst open.<p>

"Sir, we came as fast as we could –" The head engineer started. Tyler laughed.

"No need. Our Time Lord friend here has already rectified the problem." He turned to his men. "Go and fetch the others."

* * *

><p>"You are on the control base of the Order of Planets." Colonel Tyler began. The Judge felt Eris's eyes burning into the back of his skull but he did not turn to meet her glare. Reece was chewing a bar of chocolate that the Colonel had produced from somewhere.<p>

"The Order of Planets?" Eris asked idly, looking around. _Place needs a coat of paint. Maybe some curtains._

Tyler nodded. "Five million and twenty three planets are part of the alliance. All races great and small."

"Sounds like a good thing." Reece said through a mouthful of chocolate. The Judge and Eris weren't impressed. Gallifrey had similar alliances during the War.

"Indeed. That was however before the Others came."

"The Others?"

Tyler shrugged. "We first began to encounter them twenty years ago. The others were fearless fighters. Almost robotic. They were lead by a female only known as 'She'. Not long after, she declared war on the Order."

"What did you want to do with my TARDIS?" Eris enquired, not sure she was liking the way this conversation was headed.

"Use it to go back in time and send a bomb, of course!"

_Of course._

"Stop right there." The Judge held up his hands. "Colonel Tyler, do you know of a race called the 'Daleks'?"

"Yes, of course. Everyone knows about the Daleks."

"Then you know that the Time Lords attempted to do something very similar to what you are suggesting now. In an attempt to stop the creation of the Daleks, the Council of Thirteen sent one Time Lord and his companions back through time to wipe the Daleks out of all history. They failed. If anything the scientist Davros was made all the more determined to see his creation last."

"But we are not you." Tyler said flatly.

The Judge's expressionless face flickered. "But we are closer that you believe. Neither the Council nor your Order will heed to warnings."

The Colonel jabbed a finger under the Judge's nose. "See here. Don't think to lecture me on the measures I will take to see my planet survive." He hissed.

Eris thought for a minute. "There has to be some way. Some weakness to be exploited from within She's base itself. Has no one tried?"

"Of course." Tyler said miserably. "The General went in by himself against orders to try and negotiate a truce."

"Let's talk to him, then."

"No."

"Why?"

"He is still within the complex of She."

* * *

><p>The Judge felt strange in military uniform with a pistol on his hip. He gripped his wand and followed Eris and Reece into the TARDIS. After a moment, Tyler followed him into the ship.<p>

"Welcome to my TARDIS." Eris said haughtily.

The Colonel looked at her. "My government would kill for this technology."

"If this doesn't work, they'll probably try to." She snapped.

"I'm sensing a note of disapproval."

"Humans are always _so_ perceptive."

There was a gentle rocking as the TARDIS landed. Eris reached for the door. "Let's get this over with."

The Judge frowned as a feeling of foreboding settled in his gut. Something was wrong. As Eris stepped from the ship, he opened a screen to the outside. What he saw made him pale.

"Eris, don't-!"

Too late. _Of course._

A cold voice.

"Put your weapons down or we will execute the female."

* * *

><p>The Judge and Colonel Tyler were thrown into the cell behind Eris and Reece. Both of them landed hard.<p>

"Dammit." Colonel Tyler dusted himself off and held out a hand to help the Judge to his feet. "I _told_ you we should have come in with an armed squad!"

"And get them killed as well? Good plan." Eris said sarcastically.

"Well." The Judge said. "Can't say I didn't see this coming."

The Colonel scowled. He strode to the back of the cell, into shadow.

"Yes. This is a fine predicament." The Judge glanced at Eris. She glared back.

"It's not _my_ fault." She snapped. "_I'm_ not the one that bends over because some human makes eyes at me."

"That's hardly what happened!" He protested.

Reece rolled his eyes wordlessly.

"Judge!" Tyler shouted.

The Colonel was helping an older man into a sitting position. The emblem of the Republic of Earth was on his ragged shirt. He stared around at them all like they were fevered hallucinations.

"Tyler? Are you crazy?" The old man croaked.

"Apparently so." The Judge was unimpressed. The General stared at him.

"He's a Time Lord, Tony." Tyler said. "The Judge. And this is Eris and Reece."

"Reece is pleased to meet you." The lizard said diplomatically, offering her a claw.

The General stared at them again like they were all crazy.

They probably were.

Half an hour later a red-cloaked guard appeared before the bars of the cell.

"You, Time Lord. Come with me." The Judge pulled his arm of the guard's grip. Eris grabbed Reece's claw to stop him from following them.

An unadorned door hissed open in front of him and the guard pushed him through, the door sliding back and locking in place.

_Fantastic._

"Welcome, Time Lord." It was a female's voice. There was a smile in her voice.

"Oh, and not just any Time Lord either. The Lord President's brat. I _am_ honoured."

And she stepped out of the shadows.

"No." The Judge breathed. "It's not possible!"

"Oh, but it is Time Lord." And She laughed.

* * *

><p>"You, female." The guard was back.<p>

"Where's Judge?"

"Come with me."

"Not until you damn well tell me where Judge is!" Eris replied angrily.

The guard mumbled something about not being paid enough for this and went to open the bars.

Eris smiled.

"Yah!" Reece shouted, jumping forward and clubbing him as hard as he could on the head. There was a sickening squishing sound. Tyler made a grab for the laser hanging on his belt and Eris reached for the Judge's sonic wand in his back pocket.

Tyler dragged the unconscious guard into the cell and Eris locked it firmly behind them.

"They'll be here soon enough." The General said gruffly.

"How can we find the Judge?" Tyler asked.

"Shh!" Reece replied. Eris studied the wand. It was a newer model than the ones she had worked with, but still possessed all the basic functions. She twisted some dials on the wand and it lit up.

It began to beep incessantly.

"This way."

Reece and Tyler needed to despatch several of these _Others_ as Eris followed the sonic wand, the General leaning heavily on her shoulder. Finally they stopped in front thick steel door.

The general and colonel exchanged glances.

"Let me blast it open!" Tyler said aggressively, and raised the laser.

"No! You might endanger the Judge's life." _I can't believe I just said that._ Eris raised the wand to the lock.

Immediately upon entering they saw the TARDIS. It had taken the shape of a stone plinth. It lit up in recognition as Eris walked in.

The Judge was face to face with a woman. He looked up when they entered, his dignified face shot through with fury. Tyler didn't check twice. There was no doubt about who the woman could be. _She_. He slammed the laser into his shoulder and shot a round into her.

They passed right through her, burning into the wall. "A hologram. Can you believe it? A freaking hologram!"

"Just get in the TARDIS." Eris growled. She was more worried about the alarm that had started somewhere after he had fired.

"We will meet again, Time Lord." The hologram informed the Judge before it flickered and died.

A laser beam chipped off some aluminium by Tyler's ear.

The Judge seemed to snap out of his trance.

"The TARDIS now!" He ordered, pushing Reece in. Eris forced Tyler in front of her. The Judge was about to get in himself when the general shouted out.

"Time Lord!"

He looked back. The old man had fallen, and stared up at him imploringly.

_Damn it all._

The Judge gritted his teeth and went back to the old man, slinging an arm about his shoulders and dragging him to his feet.

"Giving up already, old man?" He gritted out through his teeth.

"Watch it, kid."

The Judge was a step away from the TARDIS doors when he felt the laser cut in below his shoulder blades. Immediately his hands fell numb and he lost his ability to support himself, let alone the general.

Falling.

Hands reached out to catch him as he fell, and dragged them both into the ship.

"Now!" Eris ordered. Reece pressed a button and they were no longer there.

The Judge's face was pale and his hands were shaking. There was a strong smell of burnt flesh in the air but Eris and Reece knelt beside him.

"He's gonna be okay, right Eris?" Reece asked in a higher pitched voice.

"But – can't he just regenerate?" Tyler asked. "Why doesn't he just - ?"

"It's not that easy." Eris snapped. "The first time is always the worst." She looked down on the Judge. "You hear me, Judge? You better regenerate now or I'm not going to be very pleased with you."

He stopped moving, eyes glassy.

"Eris?" Tyler asked.

"Get back!" She shouted.

The Judge's flesh seemed to crawl and melt into new shapes. The General had to look away but Tyler found himself fascinated. The face seemed obscured and unfocused before settling into a firmer form.

"Judge?" Eris asked.

His eyes snapped open, a brilliant blue instead of black. He raised a hand to his forehead.

"Ooh, my head." He groaned.

Eris grinned. "Welcome to your first regeneration."


	3. Chapter 3

'_The Universal Time Agency was established in the 38th century primarily based on the planet Earth as a branch of the Torchwood Institute, its main goal to preserve life on the planet with a minimum of loses during an age where Time skimming craft was all too readily accessible to the population. In time the Agency flowered and began to diversify its members, all species from across the galaxies. The Earthlings allied themselves with the Tularites, which began a profitable partnership for both. However, the Agency's darkest days were still ahead._

_In the last days of the 51st century, the Time Agency was exposed as a corrupt organisation run by a Board of Directors made up of fraudsters and murderers._

_The Tula – Earth alliance publically crumbled. That was when records of mysteriously disappearing agents hit the universal media in one of the Republic of Earth's most publicised scandals. The Agency Directors, in their desperation, began claiming that they were deserters, mutineers and thieves, and did all in their power to discredit those that had vanished. But still there were agents that managed to return to their place of origin, disorientated and memory gone._

_It was not until the end of that century that the truth about the Agency emerged. The people of Earth began to doubt them, and without the backing of their most powerful ally, the planet Tula, the Time Agency broke down.'_

**'The Rise and Fall of the Time Agency' by Lieutenant Ajax Smith, Commander in Chief of the Republic of Earth.**

After the recent run of events, Eris had insisted on a holiday, much to the consternation of the Judge, who seemed to find fault with every place and destination she suggested.

"Alright. How about Ferror 6?"

"Feathers make me sneeze." He said nonchalantly, spinning his sonic wand around his fingers.

"Beura in 3074?"

"No. Too smelly."

"Drista in 500, 000?"

"The slug people? I know you have no taste, but really?"

Eris rolled her eyes. Her younger sister was less finicky and difficult.

"Fine. I give up. Where do you want to go?"

"Does sitting still and _not getting shot at_ really hold no appeal for you?"

"Picky, picky."  
><em><br>"CREW OF THE UNIDENETIFIED CRAFT PASSING THROUGH 51ST CENTURY EARTH TIME! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR ENTERING A RESTRICTED ZONE. PLEASE MATERIALISE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND HAVE A NICE DAY."  
><em>  
>The Judge heaved a sigh. "Why can't I just have a normal day?"<p>

"Normal's boring." Eris fiddled with the controls for a minute. "Well, we better do what they say." She sounded entirely too gleeful. "Reece, are you coming?"

"Naw." Replied the Reptilian. "Too much excitement gives me gas."

"TMI, my friend." Eris grinned at the Judge's disgruntled expression. "Looks like it's just you and me, mister." He slouched back in his chair. "Get moving!"

"Alright already! Quit poking me!"

Both of them stepped from the TARDIS. Suddenly they were blinded by white light.

"Hands up!" Said a male voice. "Don't make me shoot you!"

The Gallifreyans' hands moved away from their bodies only a little.

"State your business!"

The Judge blinked into the harsh light. "Well, we are here to enslave your people through a cunning combination of unerring colour sense and our winning personalities."

Eris kicked him hard in the ankle.

"Smartass, eh?" The man said. "I like that in a man."

_Alright, then. _Eris laughed.

"May we have the pleasure of knowing to whom we are speaking?"

The light faded a little and Eris thought she saw a dark-haired man in some sort of uniform. As he approached, she could read the badge on his jacket.

_Final Frontier – Time Agency._

He offered the Judge a hand, which he cautiously took as if he might catch something, and pumped it up and down enthusiastically.

"'Course you can, son. The name's Harkness. Captain Jack Harkness." He winked. "Not my _real_ name, of course. I decided to keep it from my last mission, and-"

"Damn it, Harkness! Why don't you just give him your badge ID and tax file number?" Another voice bellowed.

"I'm Eris. And this is the Judge." Eris grinned. The Judge smiled tightly.

"Great! And this is your ship?" He walked around the TARDIS. "Compact. Looks cramped. But then I suppose that depends on which position you're in!" He winked and the Judge felt his cheeks grow hot with the realisation of what this youth was implying.

"Harkness! Are you going to arrest them or chat them up?"

"Alright, alright!" Jack bellowed back. He turned to Eris. "Some people. No patience." He grinned at her. He had a nice smile, she decided. "I suppose I better arrest you before Vulgon blows a gasket."

"Blows a - ?" Her brow knitted in confusion.

"It's a figure of speech. From Earth." The Judge put in. "Exactly _what_ are we being arrested for?"

"Harkness!" Jack spun around and made a gesture with his hands before putting them in his pockets. "Anyways, you're under arrest for transgressing Earth's dimensional boarders and all that, blah, blah. Don't wait up!" With a cheery wave he was pushed out of the way by a burly man with a sonic blaster in his fist.

"You are being detained under the trans-dimensional laws laid down in the Earth parliament in the year 3000, stating that all dimensional travellers require clearance to pass through Earth space." He recited. "You will be held in the custody of the Earth government until you and your craft have been processed, and then you may be eligible for release if the craft is deemed legit." The man jabbed the nozzle of his blaster into the Judge's back. "Walk."

* * *

><p>"Posh. Could be worse." Eris said. She and the Judge were sitting in cushioned chairs in their 'cell'. The Judge was tapping his fingers on the arm of the chair. "You know, if you keep doing that, I'm going to snap your fingers off."<p>

He frowned.

The door opened. "'Ello, 'ello."

The two of them looked at him. "Don't do that again." The Judge said.

Jack Harkness was back. Eris smirked and nudged the Judge's foot with her own. He kicked her in retaliation. Both of them stayed seated. Jack pulled out a chair and straddled it, grinning at them both.

"Hiya. How's the food?"

"Not bad, thanks." Eris said. "Jack, I know you have a microphone in your collar and a speaker in your ear. How about you just ask us the questions and get it over with?"

Jack's smile faltered for a moment. "Smart _and_ good looking. You got the real deal, pal." He glanced slyly at the Judge. Eris bit back another laugh at the expression on his face. Captain Jack inspected the nails on one hand.

"Anyway, the Agency has some questions it would like answered."

"And they sent _you_?" The Judge asked bitterly.

"What is the Agency?" Eris asked, genuinely curious.

"Who's doin' the questioning here?" Jack queried.

"Are you kidding-? Earlier you were just about to tell us your measurements."

Harkness shrugged. "They haven't let me out much since the last mission. I'm going a little stir-crazy."

"I reiterate, they sent _you _to answer us?" The Judge said.

"I'm a people person." Harkness shrugged. "And you're a sourpuss."

Eris laughed.

The Time Agency, it turned out, was primarily made up of Earthlings and their main ally, the people known as Tularites. The Tularites were in possession of basic time skimming technology and the job of the Time Agents was to police their immediate planetary vicinities to keep the colonies safe from individuals who would manipulate the timeline for their own ends.

There had been a similar squad on Gallifrey dedicated to just that end, to monitor disturbances in time/space and correct them with whatever means necessary. The Judge briefly wondered whether this 'Time Agency' was as ruthless.

"Now." Harkness smiled. "Tell me about yourselves! How does one come to be called something as... _dignified_ as 'the Judge'?"

The Judge sat up straighter, his face seemingly made out of stone. "I'll have you know, _boy_, that to gain a title such as mine among our people is the highest honour one could receive. It enables me to more privileges than I would have had otherwise."

The human looked unimpressed.

"What do you need to know?" Eris asked curiously.

"What are you? How did your ship get here almost past our sensors? Is there only you? How does your technology work?"

The Judge counted on his fingers. "It's none of your business, no-one needs to know, so what if we are and you would never hope to comprehend."

Jack frowned. "My superiors won't be very pleased with your answers."

Eris lent forward. "Jack, the Judge and I are the last members of a race you probably haven't heard of before. We travel because, well, what else is there for us to do? And I guess even I have moments when I don't understand the technology as well as I should." The Jude gave her a swift glance. Eris winked back.

"You and him are the last members of your race."

"Yes."

"A male and a female."

"_Ooh_."

"What? Not like that!" The Judge protested. "I would _in no_ _way_-"

"Hey, buddy, whatever you decide to do in your free time is none of my business."

Eris raised an eyebrow at the Judge's discomfort. "If it makes you feel better, never. Never ever. I don't think being the last members of the species is enough motivation for me."

The young Time Lord's face was flaming.

* * *

><p>"She was lying." The tall, well-proportioned Tularite female said, listening again to Eris's answers to Jack's questions.<p>

Jack frowned. "I don't think so somehow, Xindi." He said.

Her head snapped around to her fellow agent, her yellow eyes hard. "Your problem, Harkness," she hissed. "Is apart from being oversexed you are too soft. Anyone can lead you around by the nose. Or lower."

"Aw, boss, I always love these little motivational talks."

The Turlarite bared her teeth. "Lock up as you leave."

She strode from the CEO's office, Jack openly watching her behind sway, much to her annoyance. As soon as the door snapped shut and locked itself, he sprang off his chair and began to hunt around the room, snapping into agent mode.

"Come to daddy," he whispered as he tugged on a locked drawer. "It would be locked," He hissed. He produced a nail file from his pocket and kissed it. "I must remember to send Mom a note."

He jiggled the file in the lock and eventually the drawer sprang open. "Ooh yeah, the Jackster still has it." He palmed through the contents. "Notepad, chewing gum, sonic blaster, brain implants, specks, _oooh_ Kama Sutra. Didn't think that was standard issue." He flipped through the book before discreetly tucking it into his jacket. Then a rolled up document caught his eye. He reached into the drawer and pulled it out.

It was stamped with the seal of the Time Agency and was written and signed by the CEO. Xindi had co-signed it. Jack's curiosity peaked and he began to read.

_Being signed and dated by me on this day 1st September in the year 5000 and seconded by the Tularite ambassador Xindi Vulgon, this document pertains to the detaining of the dimensional travellers apprehended entering Earth space._

_On analysis of DNA particles belonging to the travellers, it was found that the origin of their species came from none other than a now extinct planet in the constellation of Kasterborous by the name of Gallifrey. In fact their ship, which so far has been unbreachable, had been identified as a TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimension in Space)._

_These Gallifreyans must be quarantined._

_The standing orders for dealing with the arresting and interrogating Agent, Captain Jack Harkness, takes the following form:_

_Captain Harkness is not to be harmed as he has been the only Time Agent to come into direct contact with the dimensional travellers and may need to be interrogated further._

_To cement the secrecy of this situation and prevent the information from passing through to the wrong hands, Harkness's memory is to be erased and he is to be placed in a secure facility for the rest of his natural life._

Jack dropped the document back into the drawer.

'I'll be damned.' He screwed up his face, balling his hands into fists. _He _was the one that pulled the fast ones around here!

It was time to throw one last spanner in the works.

Actually, two.

* * *

><p>"-and that is why you two lovebirds have to fly the proverbial coop before the noose tightens on all our necks." He slipped his keycard through the scanner and his maniacal smile slipped a little as <em>access<em> _denied_ flashed across the little screen. "Damn! They must be on to me already!"

"Let me handle it." The Judge raised his sonic wand to the panel.

"You're just letting us walk out the door?" Eris asked. "What about you?" Jack laughed and winked.

"Don't worry about me, sweetcheeks."

"But you could come with us - !"

"I'm a big boy and can look after myself." He replied. "Chill out. Sayonara, gorgeous." And he kissed her.

"_Do_ tell me if I'm interrupting," the Judge said acidly.

Jack grinned. "I'll miss you too, sexy."

And before the Time Lord could react, Harkness grabbed him around the back of the neck and smooched him as well.

"Call me when you're next in town. We'll catch up, do lunch." The agent winked, stepping back as they boarded the ship.

As he watched, the TARDIS slowly faded away, casting strange lights around the room.

Jack dawdled down the corridor with his hands in his pockets whistling an old Earth classic. _Oops, I Did it Again_ seemed to suit the situation.

He wondered how many other Time Agents the Directors had been '_taken care of_' this way. How many of his friends that he had been told had died on missions had been _placed in a secure facility_, never to be seen again_. _

Jack heard a nose and turned around, coming to a stop. He forced a toothy grin onto his face as he saw the busty Xindi walking towards him. Even though this woman had practically co-signed his death-warrant, he still couldn't stop himself from admiring her awesome curves.

_Real? Real fakes? Taking all bets._

"What are you doing tonight?" She asked in a sultry voice.

Jack shrugged, curious. "I was thinking of going jogging. Then taking a long, hot bath."

"Sounds interesting." The Tularite licked her lips. Jack had the sudden though that perhaps he should wipe his mouth. "How about taking me home?"

"Oh Lord … I know I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life – no, I'm really busy tonight."

"I thought you said you were going jogging?" Xindi raised an eyebrow.

_Smooth, Jack. _Then he felt long fingers at the nape of his neck. "Woah! Where're you going?"

"Did I ever tell you how sexy you are?" She purred.

"Really," The hands moved further down. Faster than Xindi expected, Jack kicked his sonic blaster from her hands. He pressed her hard against the wall.

"Thought you had me there for a minute, hey honey?" He hissed.

Xindi leered. "You really don't think a sophisticated woman from Tula such as myself could possibly be interested in a pathetic little Earth worm like you?"

Jack's brow twitched. "That was below the belt."

"You have anything below the belt worth seeing?" She snapped back.

Freeing a hand, he checked the pockets of her uniform.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Copping a feel." Jack replied immediately. "Aha!" He held up her keys and jangled them in front of her face. The Tularite gasped. He grinned. "I'll be right back, darlin'."

The next day, Jack Harkness was gone forever from the Time Agency. He did come in contact with the Republic of Earth once or twice claiming that he had information that could bring down the Agency, but the rest of the time he spent hooning around the galaxy just trying to make a buck.

No one ever came looking for him.

A year rolled by, then another, and the urgency to stay away from once fellow Time Agents faded. He was eating a burger in the flea market of Diagon Marmara when there was a tap on his shoulder.

"Captain Jack Harkness?"

_Crap on a stick. _

Jack looked up at the uniformed Tularite before throwing his food in his face. The chase was on!

Pushing his way through the crowd, Jack had a clear view of the door and looked back at his pursuer as he ran through with a shout of victory.

"Hello Jack." Xindi stepped forward with a dangerous smile.

_Pincer movement, moron._ Jack backed away. A thick set Tularite and Earthling seized his arms, lifting him slightly from the ground. Xindi came forward and applied the eraser.

_Double crap._

Everything went black.

His back ached. He woke to find he was sprawled on the floor of his room.

_Time to quit drinking. Again. What the hell happened last night? _

He tried to remember, but couldn't. He sat up and looked around. The surroundings were foreign. This wasn't his bunk at the Time Agency, though it _smelled _like his bunk at the Agency.

Then he saw the wall calendar.

August 31, 5002.

_That_ got his attention. He gripped his head in his hands, pulling at his hair in frustration . They had wiped him. They had wiped _HIM_! Captain Jack Harkness! He scowled. Well, Captain Jack just didn't roll over and play dead.

Something jingled in his pocket, and with some confusion he pulled them out. They were keys, he saw, but not just any keys. Those to a Tula warship.

He gave an evil grin. The Time Agency may have got him between a rock and a hard place, but it was now time for Captain Jack to return the favour.


End file.
